Day 6 | stop and start; rinse and repeat

My week-long “sci-fi” school of sorts
I’m taking a break. I have to. I require it! I grab a handful of pistachios, walk around the room, stretch my legs, back, arms and guzzle down half a bottle of water. I’m glad I went for that run at sunset.
I’m in the middle of studying Chapters 1, 2 and 3 of my week/month/year’s(!) bible. The 500+ page-thick: Introduction to the Canadian Mortgage Industry. Yes, I am studying to be a Mortgage Specialist and I’m attending the week-long workshop on everything that has to do with the financing industry.

Can I be completely honest with you here? I am in over my head with this crash course! I knew it was challenging but man, is this challenging AND difficult! Eight hours after Day 1 was over, my brain hurt. The 20+ year break from study isn’t helping either. After Joe P. our instructor who looks very much like an older Danny Zuko (John Travolta’s character in Grease) who was actually entertaining while educating us on such a tedious topic, I think I only got, at best, 10% of the lecture. My Wruddy – short for Writing Buddy – reminded me ever so gently (like an axe gently cracking a slab of wood in half) “Don’t you have an Economics degree?” 

Go ahead, woman. Rub it in.  Pfft!!!

I never really wanted to take up Economics at the State University in the first place. It was a second, no, THIRD choice after Computer Science (everyone wanted in as it was the hottest course then) and Business Administration (another high-demand course at the State U). I ended up in Econ. But, see, the secret longing of my heart was to get into the Arts: Fine Arts or MassCommunications but for practical, rated PG, (meaning Mom and Dad approved) reasons, I ended up taking a quasi-business course. Little did I know that I’d have good use of this course over 20 years later!

My sister(in law), M, is one of the top mortgage brokers in Toronto. Her company just received a couple of awards last April for excellence in the field. She has been asking me to consider working with her for some time now. Knowing that I have a lot of connections in the Filipino community, she strongly feels I could be of good service and promised to help me with the more complex Mathematical *shudder* points to ponder.

After a couple of years of watching her business grow from a one-woman operation to a full house of experts, advisers and consultants, I’m fully convinced that I can once again take out my Economics brain (more like brain-ette as it’s so miniscule) from hibernation and put it to good use. Okay, I’m shortchanging myself here. I actually didn’t do that bad (lest future clients are reading this post!) I did graduate with a 2.25 average in Economics which is the equivalent of a 83-85. Not bad coming from the State U and from who claims she hated the course.

Truth be told, it’s time for me to accept that a) I need, no, I WANT to help the bana. This is the right thing to do: Be my Big Girl, Good(badass)Self now; b) the kids are independent enough and don’t need to hang on to mommy’s apron strings any longer; and c) C’mon, Chikay, it’s time to get out there in the real world and have.some.fun. Who am I kidding? Me, myself and I, that’s who. The kids have moved on and don’t need mommy as much in the same way anymore. One of them even asked, no, begged me to “…please don’t come and help in the field trip this time, okay, Mom? I get embarrassed when you gigil me in front of my classmates. 
Yet another bittersweet moment in a long list of stories. How about that other time when the little guy, J, had to take me around the corner, away from where his classmate’s were lining up one morning, so he could give me a goodbye kiss out of sight. What am I, your secret girlfriend?!? He’s eight, for heaven’s sakes! Bitter.Sweet. (B.S. for short. How appropriate.:p) But then again, isn’t the whole of life?

So as I wrap up Day 6 of Writing Practice and Day 1 of The Crash Course, I brace myself for a couple more chapters of reading on provincial legislation, licensing and learning how to use a calculator (the long one with all those hieroglyphic-like symbols!) once again.  I say a prayer of thanks to the gods of school and moving on and tuck in an extra one that goes: 

Please.Help.Me! Allow my synapses to make the proper connections up here in my just-woken up mommy (to no more babies) brain. 

Thank you and AMEN.
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