Day 4 | stuck


It’s only Day 4 for heaven’s sakes.
So I go to my writing buddy, Charotski and tell her about it.
“I’m stuck.”
“Ok, tell me more…”
“I have too much.  Too many topics to choose from.  It’s the opposite of block.  I’ve got…over-stock!”
“Choose one?”
“That’s exactly where I’m stuck.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand…”

Me, neither, Cha.  I don’t understand why I can’t choose.  Correction:  I can choose but I’m NOT choosing.
AHA.  That’s worth repeating here: It’s not that I CAN’T choose.  I’m NOT choosing.  Deliberately delaying making the choice.  Choosing not to choose.  Which in itself is a choice.
Rinse and repeat.
“Write the one that’s ready to ship.” she suggests.  “Which one is?”
Ouch.  I have nothing.  Zip.  As our heavily accented Indian neighbour says, “Jero.”
So, for the moment, our WhatsApp conversation ends there.  But, look here.  This isn’t nothing.  I’ve typed out at least 100 words now.  There are no rules except 1) Daily 2) In the spirit of sharing 3) To edutain. (Educate and Entertain)  Ok.  Two out of three isn’t bad.
Truth be told, the only reason I am still here despite these feelings, writing and sharing and about to ship what could possibly be the worse junk in Canada just before midnight, is because of my writing buddy.  If it were up to me, I’d go back to my old habit, sure as the sun will shine tomorrow morning, and say something like “Bukas nalang nga!”  I’m tired.  I’m going to bed.  It’s okay to miss a day.
But is it really?  Not to me.  Not anymore.
I did say “As good or bad or shitty as can be.”
And it’s time!  11:59PM as I write these words.
I am.

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