Monster!

Meet My Monster

I die a little when I don’t get to share my creativity.  I know this about myself.  I suspect you feel this way about your own creativity, too.  Sometimes?  Often?  Never?!?  Are you even human?!!!  My monsters are relentless and loud and strong and they want to protect me.  There’s this one in particular who goes by the name of The PYS which is short for The Protective Yet Shaming Diva Monster who finally showed herself to me yesterday.  Here’s a quick sketch for you ~

The Conversation Between The PYS and I
Me:  Hello?  Hello…you in there.  Which monster are you that’s causing all this fear and blockage and doom?

It Who Hasn’t Been Named Nor Seen Yet: How dare you!  I’m the one that’s been protecting and caring for your welfare all this time and you don’t even know my name?  Shame on you!  (Man, she’s shrill.)
Me:  Ohh, k.  Ok.  Um…you’re The Protective Yet Shaming Diva Monster?  (I just made that up out of sheer panic.  But luckily for me…)
The PYS: You got it!  Ha.  Shame.  Shame!  So what’s this thing I hear you want to begin yet again.  All this after you’ve abandoned your blog for this long?  This….long!  After you’ve yet failed to keep
to your schedules and meticulously organized plans of making your offerings and things and…pshhaw!  

Psshaw and other monster words

Me:  Pshhaw?

The PYS: Pshhhhhhaw, indeed!
Me:  Sigh.  I know, I know.  I hear you.  And I am tempted to feel so shamed and get stuck and continue in this “safe” place of not doing.  But I…
The PYS:  But….not!  No buts!  Stop right there while you’re ahead. Stay.Safe.  You got it, girlie? S.a.f.e.  Now go and watch another show on Netflix or simply organize your workspace and that KatShots file alphabetically now.  Go, go, hop to it!  No more thinking…
Me:  (Amused)  Thank you.  I know you’re here to protect me but I’m fine.  Really.  There’s too much stuck-ness pain!  If I allow for this stuckness to continue, if I let Le Resistance win yet again, then I’ll be in real pain and so will my loved ones for how miserable I’ll be!
The PYS: WHAT?  What the heck are you talking about?!?  Aren’t you scared of the backlash?  The…the…the whiplash?!  You think I’m shrill?!? The tongue-lashing critics are out there!  The naysayers and the very ones that will say you’ve gotten all crrrrazy for talking to your(monster)self here!  Don’t even get me started with the “Wala Kang Magawa Ano?” Gang (Nothing to do, eh?) who hate artists because secretly, they want to make art but are simply too chickenshit scared to do so.
Me: Er, yes.  You’re right.  They are out there.  But I’m willing to ship in spite of them because I know there are more who will appreciate what I share with them and

The PYS: Nooo!  No, no, no.  Stay safe and let me protect you.  Don’t you want me to protect you?  *shudder-and-shake*
Me: (Man, The PYS is getting quite dramatic.) Thank you, PYS.  I really appreciate all this.  I’m good.  You can watch from your perch.  If I get hurt, you’ll be there and then you can protect me.  But we will continue with our creating, together and I promise not to attempt to kill you off anymore.  I know now that that’s nowhere possible.  Friends?
The PYS: Are you sure?  I don’t wanna die.  
Me:  We’re not gonna die.  Promise.
The PYS:  I don’t want to get hurt.
Me:  Now, that I can’t promise.  If you get hurt, I’ll be here with you and we can hurt together.  And we won’t die, that I pinky promise you.
The PYS:  I guess…you’re right.  In reality, I’ve known that all along.  It’s just that Jean, Gorgé, Pete and Reggie keep telling me lies and I hear them all day long and …
Me: Jean, George, Pete and Reggie?
The PYS: These damned creatures on my head!
The quick sketch ~
Me:  Haaaaaa!!!  My Monster has her own monsters!  No wonder we’re so stuck!!!  
And on and on it went for a while until I think them monsters got bored, thanfully, and fell sleep.
The Sun Will Come Out
Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing a post called Doodling For Moodling along with some of my favorite tricks on how to get myself creating and unblocked, every.day.
Do YOU have your very own monsters inside your head?  Heart?  Perched on your shoulder?  Would you be brave enough to name them and share them here with me?
Above post inspired by Seth Godin‘s The Icarus Deception and Brené Brown‘s Daring Greatly and to my fellow Inartestas who know and feel the daily battle with the dragon called Resistance.
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